The Monster! Friend or Foe?
Most of us have carried the monster around for years. It is a bad habit that we have repeated over and over again. The monster has served specific needs and given us pleasure and comfort. It has made us feel better!
When I work with clients, I often ask them whether the monster is a friend or foe? Most will immediately say FOE! However, it is not that simple.
For some of us, the addiction has been around since we were young, and it has turned into a very close friend. The monster might even be your best friend. It has always been there and it has in most cases never let you down. It has been faithful and served you well. Whenever you needed someone to lean on, the monster would be there. If you have eaten 100 grams of chocolate daily, you will have consumed 365 kgs of chocolate in 10 years. If you have smoked 20 cigarettes a day for 10 years, you have smoked a total 73,000 cigarettes. Dude, that is some scary stuff! How many of your regular friends have you connected with 73,000 times? Get the point? This also means that we have conditioned our brains and bodies to the rush.
“We love our habits more than our income, often more than our life.” - Bertrand Russell
The monster equals immediate gratification, and we love that! Because it is here and now! We do not need to wait and it is easier than being responsible. But we also know that if we want to achieve some of those really important goals such as good health, great relationships and financial success, we need to do things differently. The monster is not going to help us with that.
So what is the point? The point is that if you want to kick your addiction, you need to let go of your best friend. Most people forget that the monster is their best friend and they fail. If you really want to change, you have to say goodbye forever – and move on. This is not easy but it will help you to see the monster as a longtime friend that will be leaving you for good.
In addition, you have to realize that the monster is also your enemy. The monster is often the biggest barrier to what you really want and deserve in your life. It has already caused you lots of pain. It might have affected your health, your relationships, your work or your finances. The monster is not allowing you to be the best you can be. You know what I am talking about.
“First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you.” - Rob Gilbert
So what do you do? First of all, you have to get to a state where you are willing to do whatever it takes to kick your bad habit. I know it sounds simple but Robert Downey Jr once said about his drug abuse on TV: “It is easy to stop once you make the decision!”. The problem is that most of us are not really 100% committed when we say we want to stop. Instead we leave the door slightly open, so we can still go back to our old friend if things become too hard! Most of us are in love with the goal but we seriously dread the hard work required to get there.
“Winners have simply formed the habit of doing things losers don’t want to do” - Albert Gray
If you really want to beat the monster, you need to close that door, lock it and throw away the key! Leave your friend behind and don’t look back. Now that is a very daunting task for most people with addictions. We know we have to start somewhere, and we are initially asking you to lock the door for the 30 day challenge. If you are ready and willing to do that, you are on the right track. You are ready for POWER, our five step model to freedom. It is a simple model but it does not mean that it is easy. The 30 day challenge is hard work!
As you start the challenge, it might benefit you to just focus on beating the monster one day at a time. One day is a lot easier to handle than 30 days. Lock the door, and simply focus on getting through today. One step at a time. As you move forward, it will be come easier and easier.
When you are done with the 30 days, you decide what to do next. Most people will have beaten the monster and created a new and better habit. They will keep the door locked and continue to move forward.
You choose!
Beat It!
Coach Bay
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So true. I know that my TV is both my friend and enemy! Gotta let it go… Thanks for the ‘push’.
Hi Coach Bay, very inspirational stuff and thanks for sharing. What if you have more than one monster? Do you take the 30 day challenge on all or tackle them one by one. Is it the objective to lock away all monsters or would it not be human to keep one monster around… Keep it coming.
Kenneth, thanks for your comments. To answer your question – you take one monster at a time. If it is a really big one, it might take more than 30 days but the key is to only do one at a time. Absolutely critical. Many people fail because they ‘try’ to do to many things at the same time. People seem to overestimate what they can do in one month but underestimate what they can accomplish in one year!